You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
