I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
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