last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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