PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
