i can't believe i had my finger in that
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
