I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You left your phone here
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