As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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