I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
