Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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