I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize