he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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