the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
