i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
