I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just found a bag of teeth...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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