sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize