I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
