Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
