I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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