I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
