i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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