haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
it's great music for shaving your balls
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
