nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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