i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
