There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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