that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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