guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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