fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
