pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
