You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
A bitchslap is in order.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
