I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
