Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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