She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We are two peas in an std pod
Green mimosas i think yes
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
