I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
