McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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