I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
