I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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