Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
where does the pee come out of this thing
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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