there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize