dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
