Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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