just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The air taste purple.
Randomize