Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
