I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
