Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize