When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
