is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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