you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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