need another drink. this is the easiest way
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
