Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i think i have two assholes
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
