i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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