hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
