your thong is hanging out like whoa
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize