You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
