I molested 6 butterflies tonight
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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