I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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