He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
