some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
