it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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