Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
