I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
