he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
